Skip to main content

Help Wanted

When you think about what it would like to be rich, REALLY rich, you probably think about rolling out in your new Maserati or turning a guest room into a second closet, OR even the fact that you could literally roll around in dollar bills- $100 DOLLAR BILLS. While this is all fine and good and sufficiently over-the-top, what I want the most is an assistant. (Let's face it, you're usually making bank if you have an assistant.) Now, why do I need an assistant? Why do I want one? My reasons shall be revealed. 


  (Speaking of Maserati,  that's part of the title of one of my sister's songs. Check it out.)


1. I'm bad with breakfast. I like eating, I really do. But during the school year, I rarely eat breakfast...or lunch. At night, I'm too tired to prepare a lunch. In the morning, I usually wake up 15 minutes before I leave for school/seminary, so...still no time. I just want an assistant to bring me something in the morning. Perhaps bring me hot chocolate or tea or a smoothie at some point during the day. Chipotle for lunch. Life would be good.

2. This is NOT my job. I find myself doing a lot of office related topics that sometimes take up a lot of time. Why am I copying flyers? Why am I asking for a transcript myself? Why am I filtering through scholarships to find ones that are right for me? SOMEONE SHOULD DO THIS FOR ME. My assistant would do these things, while I would devote my time to more important things, like painting my desk or baking that batch of cookies for that lady that I was going to bake for two months ago. (Yikes.)

This is how I picture my assistant . She would be a  refined, more organized version of me, and because I sometimes wish I was Asian, she's Asian. But maybe a better blazer.


3. I'm not O.C.D. enough. I like scheduling and planning and organizing- but sometimes my anxiety order just doesn't cut it. For example, I missed a deadline of a really important scholarship because I thought it was due three days after the actual date. So, she would follow me around with her tablet, keeping track of every meeting, yoga class, and scholarship there ever was.

So, yeah, my assistant would actually be a personal chef, secretary, maybe even a personal trainer and chauffeur (I hate driving, but that's an entirely different post altogether.) Hopefully one day I will be able to have an assistant. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Marriage, Tornadoes, Chocolate, and Other Buzzwords

I’m surprised Child Protective Services hasn’t taken custody of my blog yet, given how much I neglect it. But you know what they say, absent parents make for interesting adults. (Wow, that was kind of dark.) Let’s lighten things up. I got married last month! Some of you already know this, but to others, this is breaking news. I think it’s because Facebook didn’t say I was married until a few days ago. And if it’s not on Facebook, it never happened. Existential social media discussions aside, this post is a comprehensive update of my life today. You’ll get the inside scoop on my current whereabouts, my favorite podcasts, desired pastimes–everything you need to know to hack my passwords. I know, I know, that’s what journals are for. But most days I can barely read my own handwriting. And if I want my post-cursive posterity to know me in this Year of the Dog, I must leave an online record. GRANESSABAMA Granessabama is the name of this new chapter in my life and pot

Single's Awareness Day

I just couldn't resist using this picture.  Wasn't Single's Awareness Day celebrated yesterday? Well, technically yes. But, according to Wikipedia, SAD is often celebrated on 13th or 15th as well. I think it is best to celebrate it on a Friday because this day most clearly exposes my singularity...you know, because I'm at home. Alone. Writing a blog. Eating chocolate. Alone. But, my friends, today is a holiday! Let it not go unnoticed because there are many perks to being single. By the end of reading this post, you will throw away your self-pity and relish in your fantastic life and make all your coupled friends feel jealous. 1. He's attractive. And so is he. HIM, too. Because I am single, I can think anyone is attractive and tell the whole world if I want to. If I had a boyfriend, I won't be able to divulge my celebrity crushes without making him feel uncomfortable, jealous, and angry. Let's face it; I don't want to make him feel bad because