Gift #2: To Change and Be Changed

Welcome back! Let's celebrate your reading of this blog post with a photograph that exhibits some of my finer qualities.

Today’s journal entry comes from one of the last days of my mission. I might have even written this on the flight back to America.

July 12, 2017

Airspace, Earth

“On Sunday, I had to prepare my final talk in Fuji [Yes, THAT Fuji]. Yea, my last day as a missionary, I learned one of the most important lessons of my mission. I’ve been upset that I went to and left Gokiso [one of my past areas] w/o doing much, but I realized that I wasn’t called to Japan to change Japan—to break societal norms & flood areas w/investigators. Rather, I was called to Japan for Japan to change me...That thought touched my heart profoundly. The Lord needed me on His side, He needed me to change, so He sent me to Nagoya.”

I believe in being a force for positive change. On my mission, I wanted to change Japan and I wanted to witness all those changes. (They don’t call me Ambitious Anessa for nothing...maybe because they don’t call me that.) I didn’t see the change I wanted. Why? Because I can’t control what other people do. I can’t even control the weather...like Pudge.

But while I may not always be able to evoke change around me, I can allow myself to be changed.

My last Sunday in Japan

Missions are rough. Reading through my mission journal to find the gifts has been really hard. I wade through a lot of fear, misery, and self-loathing begat by my own pen. I could have left my mission bitter and resentful for the painful experiences I had to endure. Instead, I like to think I came out humbler and more empathetic. My mission gifted me a changed heart and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Comments

Marriage, Tornadoes, Chocolate, and Other Buzzwords

I’m surprised Child Protective Services hasn’t taken custody of my blog yet, given how much I neglect it. But you know what they say, absent parents make for interesting adults. (Wow, that was kind of dark.) Let’s lighten things up. I got married last month! Some of you already know this, but to others, this is breaking news. I think it’s because Facebook didn’t say I was married until a few days ago. And if it’s not on Facebook, it never happened. Existential social media discussions aside, this post is a comprehensive update of my life today. You’ll get the inside scoop on my current whereabouts, my favorite podcasts, desired pastimes–everything you need to know to hack my passwords. I know, I know, that’s what journals are for. But most days I can barely read my own handwriting. And if I want my post-cursive posterity to know me in this Year of the Dog, I must leave an online record. GRANESSABAMA Granessabama is the name of this new chapter in my life and pot...

Channeling Charleston Day #4: Historical Hallucinating

After getting a good feel for modern-day Charleston throughout the week, I dove head first into Charlestonian history. My first stop was the Old Slave Mart Museum, nestled in the French Quarter (I spend a lot of time here). Whenever you go to these museums, make sure to mention you are a student (if you are one) and you'll get a discount. You may not even have to show your ID. ANYWAYS, back in the 1800s, there was a law passed that said slaves must be bought behind closed doors. (Auctioning people off like cattle outside is BAD; inside is apparently more acceptable.) So, this place was built specifically for that purpose and was the most successful Slave-Mart in Charleston (Congratulations.....? Is that a good thing?). I'll share I few interesting things I learned: 1. Slaves were divided up into different classes signifying if they were super good, decent, or poor. People spent the most for slaves who were male in their late teens to early twenties. Today, an "...

How to Write a Blog Post After Not Writing For Over Two Years

Much like books sitting on our bookshelves we bought back when Border's was a thing, sometimes our blogs gather dust, slowly losing relevance in the deepest crevices of the Internet. Here is an easy 4-step guide to resurrecting your online presence for a better, blogger you. 1. Apologize for your writing hiatus. This is key not only in reconnecting with your audience, but also salvaging your ego by reaffirming to yourself that you even had readers in the first place. Make it simple, sincere, but be sure to include a dash of self-aggrandizement. Your apology might look something like this: "Dear devoted frequenters of fiNESSA, it has been nearly 2 years and four months since my last blog post; I humbly apologize for that prolonged absence. It is cruel that I have deprived you so long from the very fodder that keeps blood moving through your veins." Notice the sincerity of the apology with the adverb “humbly,” followed by the writer’s assumption th...

fiNESSA

Search This Blog