Gift #2: To Change and Be Changed

Welcome back! Let's celebrate your reading of this blog post with a photograph that exhibits some of my finer qualities.

Today’s journal entry comes from one of the last days of my mission. I might have even written this on the flight back to America.

July 12, 2017

Airspace, Earth

“On Sunday, I had to prepare my final talk in Fuji [Yes, THAT Fuji]. Yea, my last day as a missionary, I learned one of the most important lessons of my mission. I’ve been upset that I went to and left Gokiso [one of my past areas] w/o doing much, but I realized that I wasn’t called to Japan to change Japan—to break societal norms & flood areas w/investigators. Rather, I was called to Japan for Japan to change me...That thought touched my heart profoundly. The Lord needed me on His side, He needed me to change, so He sent me to Nagoya.”

I believe in being a force for positive change. On my mission, I wanted to change Japan and I wanted to witness all those changes. (They don’t call me Ambitious Anessa for nothing...maybe because they don’t call me that.) I didn’t see the change I wanted. Why? Because I can’t control what other people do. I can’t even control the weather...like Pudge.

But while I may not always be able to evoke change around me, I can allow myself to be changed.

My last Sunday in Japan

Missions are rough. Reading through my mission journal to find the gifts has been really hard. I wade through a lot of fear, misery, and self-loathing begat by my own pen. I could have left my mission bitter and resentful for the painful experiences I had to endure. Instead, I like to think I came out humbler and more empathetic. My mission gifted me a changed heart and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

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