Gift #8: Conquering My Demons

How many days does it take for Anessa to get behind on blogging? Too few. However, I still plan to post 25 posts about 25 gifts before the first 25 days of days of Christmas are over or so help me (seriously help me, finals week has been thrust upon me like a bad cream-pie-in-face comedy bit).

Rapping AND Wrapping Skills #churchmagazines

January 15, 2016

Ichinomiya, Japan

A consecrated missionary doesn't just change her behavior, but her nature. And it is only through a changed nature that can make a person able to conquer their Goliaths when they got home. One of my biggest fears about going home is having to face some of my pre-mish Goliaths—bad habits, laziness...selfishness, etc. Being able to overcome that is VERY attractive to me.

My mission changed me.The space between who I was 18 months prior and who I was when I came home felt more like 18 years. Being a missionary becomes a huge part of your identity, but when you get home, you have to learn how to wear a different kind of nametag: that of a normal human. But the only human I knew was Anessa circa January 2015, and I didn't want to be that Anessa again.

Because of my mission, I didn't have to be. My mission taught me the doctrines and skills necessary preserve my good attribute and discard some of the unsavory ones. Granted, it's not like I was selling drugs on the side or organizing crime (though I do think I could pull off a tailored mobster suit). But I was able to shed some bad habits that were getting in the way of who I wanted to be. In the place of those habits, I learned how to develop more uplifting habits: more scripture study, more temple attendance, less frequent Netflix binges.

Indeed, my mission helped me conquer my demons and replaced them with angels.

Don't worry, the Anessa capable of grotesque faces remains.

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